Self-Evaluation

Yesterday afternoon we had our first meetings with the Peace Corps staff to discuss what we think and what they think of our progress in training thus far. We filled out an extensive checklist about how we think we’re doing in terms of the language and the culture and integrating and everything that goes along with that, and the trainers filled out the same survey regarding their opinions of our progress. It was a nice check-in point. The trainers were really positive and encouraging and I think they’re pretty pleased with our group as a whole- they’ve told us many times that they’re impressed and happy with us. Of course it could just be that part of their job is to be positive and motivating to keep us optimistic about the whole situation! It was very cute though- when we met yesterday, the head trainer told me he thought I had bribed the trainers because they marked “always” for everything… I could have sworn I was being subtle about the cookies I was slipping them, but apparently not :) The meeting was helpful- it was good for me to think about what I’m happy with in terms of my progress and what I feel like I could put more into. Being the type of person who holds herself to ridiculously high standards, I’ve been feeling a little frustrated by feeling like there just aren’t enough hours in each day for me to spend as much time learning the language as I want to, as much time learning the culture as I want to, as much time exploring the community as I want to (especially in the village), etc. I keep telling myself that if I spend more time studying the language outside of class I would be able to be learning it much faster. But when I do that then I feel like I’m missing out on the hanging-out-with-my-family-in-the-village time. And the hanging-out-with-other-volunteers time. And then there’s the possibility of maybe even occasionally taking five minutes for myself to write in my journal or read or even just sit and think (perish the thought). So I’ve been feeling mildly perturbed by wanting to do so much more than I can realistically expect myself to do in a day with a mere 24 hours. The self-reflection survey and the meeting was really good to help me stand back and be able to look at the situation through a more objective perspective- I’ve only been here for THREE WEEKS! (That’s pretty crazy to think.) And I’ve learned TONS! And done tons! And given how short a time I’ve been here for, my grasp of the language is pretty decent. Scary to think it probably took about a year and a half of Spanish classes to get to the level I’m at in less than a month here. Although I think that probably says a lot more about foreign language education back home than anything else. But it was nice to reflect on how much I’ve accomplished in so little time. And to focus on not being to hard on myself about the fact that I haven’t learned or done more in the brief time I’ve had. It’s easy to lose perspective of the bigger picture sometimes, and to realize that there’s also life after training. Quite a lot of it in fact. And if I’m not fluent in the language and totally immersed in the culture by December 14^th… it’s not like that learning process stops and I won’t get the chance anymore. So that’s where I want to work on being a little more realistic with myself. Ah, goals :) Anywho, this afternoon we’re heading back out to the village for another week. It has felt like the time in Apia this week has flown by in a flash. I’m excited to get the chance to spend more time with my family and immersing myself in the language and getting to study and focus on that and the culture again (it’s pretty hard to do that in Apia living in the hotel here- you get really easily distracted by flashy things like computers and other Americans and air conditioning). Then we come back to Apia for the night next Saturday from which we take off on Sunday for a three day volunteer visit where we get to go stay with a current volunteer elsewhere in the country and follow them around and see what their day-to-day lives are like and what their work is. I’m really hoping that I get sent to stay with a volunteer on the other (less populated) island, Savai’i, because it’s supposed to be absolutely stunning there and it would be really cool to get a chance to see it. I’m sure wherever I go will be interesting though and very fun to get a perspective from someone who’s been here for a while. Okey doke, time to go pack and change back into my lavalava!